Sexual fantasies are totally normal — and one of the most common is having a threesome. Before you jump into bed with your two other people, it’s important to know which positions are your biggest bang for your buck (puns intended). Having an idea about who does what, what goes where, will go a long way for maximum pleasure and comfort. After all, things can feel pretty crowded and awkward if you’re not clear about what will actually make you feel good.
Before engaging in your threesome, Aliyah Moore, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist, says it’s key to remember to get everyone’s consent “and communicate, communicate, communicate. Be sensitive to each other’s comfort levels. I can’t stress this enough, especially when there’s a noob among you. This ensures that all of you are in sync, having fun, and will gain more pleasure than pain from the whole experience.”
Below, Moore recommends threesome sex positions that can work regardless of the parts you and your partners are wielding.
The Oral Triangle
“Oral sex is always a great place to start to get everyone’s motor running,” Moore says. “Sure, there’s some multitasking involved, but this position gives all partners the same level of attention and time they deserve. Whether you’re experienced or new to threesomes, this position ensures that everyone feels they’re being taken care of, so no one feels they’re being left out.”
How to do it: Partner 1 rests their head on Partner 2’s thighs and goes down on them. Partner 2 does the same to Partner 3, then Partner 3 to Partner 1.
Pro tip: “Another variation is to have everyone lying on their sides in a circle, servicing each other. Ideally, the position should form a triangle, hence the name.”
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Double Oral
How to do it: The ultimate oral fantasy where two partners get on their knees and take turns giving head to one partner. If the receiving partner has a penis, one giving partner can focus on the penis while the other can focus on the balls. Or, if the receiving partner is into analingus, one giver can blow him from the front while the other can rim him from behind.
69 + 1
How to do it: The 69 partners face each other while ensuring their heads are positioned in each other’s genitals. The top partner should be at the edge of the bed. Next, the penetrating partner positions from behind for vaginal or anal sex.
Pro tip: “What makes this 69 threesome twist great is that it not only works for FFM or MMF triads but all types of threesome configurations. You can even bring some sex toys in your arsenal, like a bullet vibrator or a magic wand massager, to enhance the sensations for all parties involved.”
Double Cowgirl
How to do it: The penetrating partner lies on their back while one receiving partner straddles him traditional cowgirl style, and the other receiving partner straddles their face to receive oral sex. Partner 2 can straddle the penetrating partner in either direction, of course, “but if both partners want to interact with each other, like kiss and touch each other, they can choose to face each other.”
Doggy Train
How to do it: To do this, the male partner penetrates one partner doggy-style. The middle partner then either eats out or penetrates the head of the train using their finger(s) or a penetrative sex toy like a dildo. The head of the train must also bend forward in the classic doggy position.
“This position is great for male partners who like to see the backdoor view of their female partners while both are on all fours,” Moore says.
Pro tip: “While the head of the train may not get a lot of view from the action, you can all do this in front of a mirror, so they don’t miss out. Or they can amp the pleasure by using a vibrating toy to stimulate their clit while the middle partner penetrates them with their finger or dildo.”
Threeway Spooning
“Spooning sex position is great for threesome partners who want to keep things intimate,” Moore says. “It allows for shallow penetration and frees both hands to explore each other. It can also be a breather from all the threesome acrobatics you just did or will be doing.”
How to do it: All partners get into the spooning position by lying on their sides. Then, the two partners penetrate the person right in front of them, either vaginally or anally. Now, start with slow, rhythmic thrusts.
Pro tip: “Make sure that you communicate a lot so movements remain coordinated. Avoid creating too much space between you three, or else someone will slip out. Moreover, make sure you use lots of lube to keep the action going.”
The Human Centipede
How to do it: “Okay, I don’t mean the gross 2000s horror film, but somehow that’s the picture (except for the icky parts),” Moore explains. “So basically, all three of you are on your knees, rimming the person right in front of you.”
Pro tip: This position is perfect for all three people who are into rimming or analingus, so all threesome configurations can do it. It’s a great starter position before you go all acrobatic and explore different penetrative sex positions like the ones I mentioned above or in the next section…
Double Penetration Faves
Cowgirl (Classic) Double Penetration
How to do it: One of the men (giver) in the MFM/MMF triad lies down while the woman (receiver) faces him, climbs on top, and rides him. Then, the other man inserts his penis (or finger/dildo) into her anus from behind.
Pro tip: “Make sure that both penis owners aren’t thrusting at the same time. If this happens, one of them could easily slip out,” Moore says. “Another tip is to have the person with the shorter penis penetrate the woman first (usually vaginally) and then the one with the bigger penis second (usually anally). Doing so ensures fewer chances of slipping out.”
Moore adds that double penetration doesn’t require two penises. “If this position proves challenging, you can always use a finger, dildo, or another sex toy to penetrate the female in the MFM/MMF triad vaginally and anally at the same.”
Reverse Cowgirl DP
How to do it: This position is pretty similar to the classic cowgirl for when you have at least one partner with a vulva. And now, that person will be in the reverse position as the receiver lies on one giver with their back to his chest. The giver then slides their penis/toy into their anus. The other giver then comes in front and slides their penis/toy into her vagina.
Pro tip: “This is quite an excellent position for triads who prefer to do the same move for extended periods as the body alignment allows easy movement. And the best part? It works for threesome noobs, too.”
DP Doggy
“Getting into the doggy during DP is one of the more challenging positions to do,” Moore says. “But when done right, it’ll reward everyone with sensual physical contact plus some arousing and intense views.”
Moore adds there are also variations to the doggy for different triads that don’t involve double penetration. “For example, one giver penetrates the receiver either vaginally or anally, while the receiver gives the other giver a blowjob or a rim job. You choose. When both male partners are on their knees, you call this position the Spit Roast.”
How to do it: Like the classic doggy, the receiver has to go down on all fours. Then, the giver who’s gonna penetrate her anally will have to do the “crouching tiger” position on top of her and gently insert his penis into her anus. The other giver also comes in from behind and inserts his penis into her vagina to close the deal.
Pro tip: The DP Doggy is a fantastic threesome position, especially for MMF triads with a bi-male involved. They get to enjoy the rear views of two lovers in the same stance.
Missionary DP
How to do it: The receiver lies on her back with her legs spread apart. Then, one giver assumes the ‘crouching tiger’ stance on top of her and inserts his penis into her vagina. The other giver then comes in behind the first one and slides their penis into her anus.
Pro tip: “This position is perfect for receiving partners who want to use their free hands to explore their bodies (e.g., clit stimulation) as well as their partners’. The receiver still lies on her back for this position and gets penetrated upfront.”
Standing DP
How to do it: One giver stands in front of the receiver (also standing), chests facing each other, and penetrates her vaginally. The other giver comes from behind her butt and penetrates her anally. Both givers can spread her legs and lift her holding her thighs and butt to adjust the thrusting.
Pro tip: “The best part about this position is that the receiver gets to enjoy suspension in between the two guys. This leaves much room for caressing, kissing, and nipple sucking.”
The Best Sex Positions for Any Penis Size & Body Shape
One of the most challenging aspects in the bedroom, especially in a new relationship, is learning your partner’s body and what makes it unique. Often, individual physical differences can require a slight adjustment in technique, especially if you are a very different size than your partner. As a 4-foot, 8-inch sex worker, I’ve learned the ins and outs of giving my visitors an amazing bedroom experience regardless of their dimensions.
I could write an entire article on how to accommodate partners of different heights and physical sizes as well as body mass, but for now, let’s focus on what to do with the unexpected surprise waiting for you in your partner’s pants.
What if it’s too big?
When it comes to penises, there are two kinds of “too big” — one is length, the other is girth. Of course, you can have a combination of these challenges, depending on the person.
For both length and girth, make sure not to skimp on the foreplay. Foreplay is not only a great way to increase vaginal lubrication, which will help immensely with girth, but arousal actually lengthens the vagina and increases its maximum diameter, which will make you much more comfortable during lovemaking. I recommend at least 10 minutes of foreplay or masturbation prior to intercourse, but 20 minutes is optimal.
If a penis is too long, you’ll want to avoid positions that provide deeper penetration. This means that positions during which your legs or knees are pulled back toward your shoulders are off the table, and you should be very careful about positions during which you are on all fours. If you decide you must be on all fours, you’ll want to raise your back instead of lower it, as lowering provides deeper penetration for your partner and will likely be too intense.
The best position for length issues is reverse cowgirl, as it gives you complete control over penetration depth and speed and provides shallower penetration than forward-facing cowgirl, and with more control.
There is a combination of toys and products available if your partner is too large. These vary from doughnuts that fit around the base of the penis to dildos of increasing size that you can use to prepare your body for a large partner just before an encounter.
Specifically for girth, make sure to use positions that keep your knees apart. Having your legs together reduces the maximum diameter of the vaginal canal and forces far more tissue movement to accommodate your partner.
What if it’s too small?
This same principle of keeping knees together can be applied in reverse if your partner is smaller or is having trouble finishing. Using positions that keep your knees together increases friction and tightens the vaginal canal. For the same reason, getting on all fours and lowering your middle back will give your partner a greater sensation of deeper penetration and lets them manage any issues that arise from a shorter penis leaving the vagina unexpectedly during intercourse.
A great position for someone with a shorter penis, especially if the person has bad knees or a larger midsection, is for both of you to be on your sides. You draw your knees up closer to your chest and extend your legs; your partner curls up behind you. This position has all the deep penetration of being on all fours with none of the back or knee pressure and much more control. This will also prevent your body from rocking forward and backward during intercourse, which for a lightly endowed person can create complications related to falling out.
There are also creams and lubes you can use that can temporarily tighten up the vagina. These can be a great long-term solution for heightening your and your partner’s pleasure if there are size concerns. It can be worthwhile to invest in a sex sofa, as these ergonomic pieces of furniture are not only comfortable, functional and great for reading a book on a day off, they let you enjoy all kinds of great positions and angles that would be much harder to reach without it. Experimenting will give you the experience you need to have a quality encounter with your partner.
Bringing it all together
Whether your partner is very large or very small and you’re using condoms, it’s important to find ones that fits. Standard condom sizes aren’t for everyone, and it’s very easy to have a condom fall off or break if it’s not being used properly because of a glaring size issue. There are companies, like One, that make bespoke condoms. They are easy to order, easy to size and completely take care of size-related condom concerns. Given that a condom failure can be a very big deal, the minor investment into contraception that fits properly is an important one.
You may find it helpful to have a little fun with your partner and buy an adult toy kit that lets you make a mold and silicone double of your partner’s member. Having a copy of their penis on hand will let you try different positions and techniques outside the bedroom in a completely risk-free environment, and in my experience, most men love the idea of you having a little something to remember them by when they’re not around! Not only will you have a great conversation piece, you’ll have an excellent opportunity to practice your bedroom techniques and be an even better lover for your partner.